Playing therapist

So lately Rice has been emailing me, a lot. Like, confiding in me about his problems. He's such an amazing person. No like, honestly, he's the most selfless person on the face of this planet. He's the 13-year-old white ghandi. And I don't say that lightly. He's thanked me for the advice, and said he's never told anyone this stuff before (the stuff that I've been advising him about.). All spring break I've been happy, 100% bliss no emo-ness. Usually talking to Rice makes me happy, like I'm the luckiest girl in the world, and special enough to get him to pay attention to me. But after talking with him like this, for the first time in awhile, I feel, not crappy, but just lame. I feel like a terrible person, like I shouldn't be allowed into his business, and I don't deserve to be telling him what to do. I don't know, but when I see he's replied back to be i have that aching, uh-oh feeling in the pit of my stoumach, and it's not excited anticipation, like it usually is, but more dread. I don't know why, because he's not saying anything bad. I hope this is, if anything, strengthening our relationship, but I don't know. I think I heard somewhere that playing therapist is actually bad to romance. But I don't deserve it. I can't feel like he deserves better, because I'm too selfish to wish he'd find someone else. I'm too jealous, and I don't want to loose him. But here I am leaving. I'm not going to see him for a very, very long time. Oh well, god this has turned into a rant. I just need to get my feelings out. But for the first time, I'm not mad at myself for feeling this way. Because I don't believe I have any warrant to feel happy about this. Having Rice confide in me like this, and me giving advice that there's no way i deserve to be giving, I'm this filthy, disgusting person, telling ghandi what to do. I don't think I should have a smile on my face when I see he's replied. I don't know what to do. But I can't wait to see him on monday. I really can't wait to actually talk to him.

Also, Aladdin makes me cry.
And what happens in Yosemite stays in Yosemite. Or online.